A Mindset Trick To Clear Style Stories

We all have these stories that we carry with us. In relation to style, they're called style stories - which is basically an irrational belief that there are particular colors, shapes, or styles we can't wear. They usually stem from a comment someone made one time, years ago, and it stuck with you as absolute truth. The weirdest part about style stories is the ones that stand out often come from people we don’t actually want advice from. 

I have many personal examples, but this one came up recently and it blew my mind when I really thought about it. There was this person in my life many years ago; we were coworkers, hung out a few times, and while they were perfectly nice, they were not someone who was living a life I wanted to recreate for myself. 

They said something to me that has stuck with me for almost 15 years now. The other day this memory popped up and I remembered what they said. I noticed it and thought about how absolutely insane it is that I still listen to that voice in my head. Why do I beat myself up every time I do the thing they told me not to do? If I wouldn't go to them for advice, why do they get so much power in my brain? It makes no sense, right?

The same goes for so many style stories. Think about something in your life that you think you "can't" do or wear. You can’t wear stripes because someone told you they make you look wide, you don’t wear tank tops because someone once told you your arms looked big, or you don’t dress up because someone told you it looked like you were trying too hard. There’s a million examples. 

So let's clear it, shall we?

Close your eyes, and envision yourself wearing the item you have a style story about. You run into this person who made this comment before. Truly think about how you’re feeling when they say it. Now, ask yourself these questions:

Does it actually affect you?

Do you legitimately care?

How does it feel in your body when they make that comment?

What might your response be to them, now that you’ve had plenty of time to run through this in your mind?

Now, do the same thing, but remove that person, and replace them with someone you love and trust, or even a nice stranger, and this time they give you an amazing compliment. Practice wearing the item, and run through your day like you’re an Olympian rehearsing your athletic performance. How does that change the way you feel about wearing stripes, or that tank top?

Any time you want to wear the item you’ve been conditioned to avoid, go through this exercise. No one is standing in your way of dressing the way you want, except you. 

The two biggest problems with style stories is that they're mostly untrue, and that they lead you to feel shame or guilt while you're getting dressed. Getting dressed from a place of negativity will set you up for failure every single time. This is how we end up falling back on the same pieces over & over and our style feels stuck & stale. 

There is immense freedom in letting these stories go, and the ripple effect of feeling good about yourself will carry out into so many other areas of your life. Are you getting dressed for the approval of others? Or are you dressing to feel great about yourself? There is zero shame in wanting to feel good. Investing in yourself and taking the time to understand what you feel great in will only improve your life. Stop allowing others' opinions of you limit the way you express yourself. 

This is something I struggled with so deeply when I was younger (and it still creeps up occasionally), but I have the tools to work through it and make it feel more approachable. Style is not scary. Fashion is not scary. Shopping is not scary. It’s lack of knowledge that makes it feel that way, and there is no shame in saying that you need help figuring out how to fully step into your style. No one taught us how to do this, we’re all figuring it out as we go. If you’re tired of feeling stuck in your style or uninspired by your wardrobe, there is a better way. 

Try this mindset trick and let me know if it works for you. If you’d like to go deeper into your style journey, take a look at my available products & services. I hope you're having a beautiful week!