Seasons Of Style
There are seasons to life. Some are busy, some are more relaxed, some are exhausting, and some are filled with joy. Along with those seasons of life come seasons of style. Warm summers spent wearing flowy options, transitioning from school to the corporate world, pregnancy with an ever changing body. As the seasons of our lives change, our wardrobe adjusts as well.
The way that I’m going to talk about this today is in relation to motherhood, but I believe this theory can apply to everyone in their own personal example.
When you become a mother, everything changes. Yet one of the ways a lot of women can feel the biggest loss is with their body, and what can go on it.
In the pregnancy stage, you’re constantly growing and changing - what works and is comfortable today might be something you hate next week. Getting used to constant change is often the first lesson of parenting.
Then, comes the postpartum period. Everything hurts, your body isn’t yours anymore, and this overwhelming feeling of being lost sets in. You’re exhausted, you’re getting used to new routines, schedules, expectations. It’s very common for thoughts like, ‘Who am I?’ to creep in. It’s such a tender time emotionally, and when you struggle to feel comfortable in your clothes, that tenderness can deepen quickly.
Once you’re out of the postpartum period you might feel like you have a sense of yourself back; you’ve got the hang of parenting, you’re in a solid routine, you’re starting to fit into your clothes again. But there’s another side to the seasons of style that aren’t just about your body and the way it changes.
Once you have a sweet baby who moves around and can grab things, you put a pause on wearing jewelry. When they’re walking and talking, pretty much everything you wear needs to have pockets. There’s always a snack, a binkie, a toy for you to carry. It’s not always the smartest idea to wear white. You need to run after the kids and be able to bend down, scoop them up, and chase after their sweet faces. Sneakers become your best friend. Delicate fabrics are no longer ideal when sticky hands are reaching for you.
It can be really easy to fall into the mental trap of not knowing who you are, what your style is, what to put on your body, how to feel comfortable and confident without wearing sweatpants every day.
I have gone through this myself (twice), and have walked through it with many friends and clients. It’s never easy; you’re so tired, you’re putting other people’s needs before your own, and it feels like it will never change. But that’s the thing about seasons - they always end, and a new one comes.
Every winter we complain about how cold it is. We’re tired of the snow, we want the warmth of the sun. Summer finally comes, we run around outside, so grateful for the heat on our face, until it’s too hot and then we’re complaining that we’re going to melt and when will there be a break in this heat?!
See what I mean? Everything changes, life ebbs and flows.
When I had my daughter, my Mom gave me a piece of advice that I think about all the time, whether in relation to parenting or life in general. We were talking about how I had just gotten used to Olivia’s routine, and she dropped a nap, throwing me off and forcing us to find a new rhythm.
My Mom said, ‘Everything changes, good or bad. As soon as you get used to something, it’ll change.”
Whether it’s nap schedules, favorite foods, the weather, where you live, or your job - things change.
If you’re in a season where you feel out of control of your own life, take a look at what you can control.
I’m in a season where I can’t wear jewelry. My 15 month old will pull at anything and everything on my body, and I miss accessorizing. It took me a while to get back into a space where I felt comfortable with my body after having two kids, and now that I’m here and wearing my favorite jeans again, my outfits feel incomplete. Our brains so quickly go to what’s not working, instead of what is.
Yes, I’m in a season where it makes more sense to skip the jewelry and wear sneakers every day. But I’m also out of the postpartum phase; my clothes fit, I can go shopping, I feel secure in my body again. My child is no longer depending on my body for food, so I can buy a pretty bra. Just because I can’t wear earrings right now, doesn’t mean I can’t find another area to focus on.
While I can’t accessorize the way I’m used to, I’m going to work more pattern and color into my wardrobe. I’m going to be thrilled about the comfort of sneakers, and find fun pairs that can elevate a simple outfit. I’m going to keep my delicate pieces aside for date night, or other time spent kid-free. And I’ll remember that this season will go, and when it does I’ll miss the tiny baby fingers that used to grab at my necklaces.
What style season are you in right now, and how can you make it work to your advantage? Here are a few questions to think about or journal on:
What season of life are you in right now that dictates how you get dressed?
What elements of that are you not loving? Are you in a specific job and hate the dress code restrictions, are you living in a climate that you’re tired of, are you feeling sensitive about an area of your body or physical appearance?
Where can you look to elevate those parts that are working? Think about my example of not wearing jewelry and instead focusing on color and pattern.
If there were no limitations to how you could get dressed, what would you wear on an average day?
How can you incorporate elements of that into your current style?
If these questions helped you have an aha-moment, or if you’re still feeling stuck, come over to Instagram and DM me. I’d love to hear how this helped you, or work through it with you if you’re still feeling unsure. Your Personal Stylist is always here, rooting for you.